I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
