Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
