Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
