this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
handjob tips. give me some.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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