How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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