What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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