"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
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A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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