Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
