was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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