I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
