C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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