he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
