physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
