I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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