therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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