you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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