We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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