oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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