yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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