Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
