On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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