You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm always down for nudity.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
