So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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