i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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