Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
