she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize