Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am available for nakedness
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Your penis caused this!
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