UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?