I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.