Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol