come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
