would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
