I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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