so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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