that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
