In America we eat man semen.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
