I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
