i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
