is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im six kinds of drunk right now
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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