I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
