I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We are two peas in an std pod
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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