If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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