She is in my trunk
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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