turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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