Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
