thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
