Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
