I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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