Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
