So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
