So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
false alarm, still single
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize