If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
