EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
