I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
