I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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