I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
