she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
