I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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