I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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